Young people may be in need of a foster home for all kinds of reasons. But almost all of them will be feeling confused, angry, betrayed, hurt, insecure or uncertain about their future.
There are many more teenagers than infants requiring foster homes, and typically it is boys more than girls who struggle the most to find secure long-term homes. It is important to have realistic expectations of fostering. As with all children, negative emotions can lead to challenging behaviour, and the early stages can be difficult—these are children who have been subjected to a great deal of upheaval and stress in their young lives.
Your role as a foster carer is, first and foremost, to be there for the child. Your daily routine will be much like any other family—school runs, helping with homework, encouraging hobbies and interests, attending doctor and dentist appointments, for example. But you will also work with the agency team of professionals to plan for the young person's care.
Speak to any foster carer and they will tell you that fostering isn't easy. But they will also tell you that it is often the simplest things you do, like sharing a family meal, going along to watch them play in a football match, and that can bring such joy to these young people's lives. There's nothing more rewarding than knowing you've played such a large part in helping them enjoy a brighter future.
The Day-to-Day Realities of Fostering
Fostering is a unique experience, filled with both challenges and rewards. Each day brings new opportunities to make a difference in the life of a young person, but it also requires patience, understanding, and resilience. At Family Fostercare, we believe that by providing a realistic picture of what fostering involves, prospective carers can better prepare themselves for the journey ahead.
Emotional Resilience and Patience
Young people who enter the care system often carry with them a history of trauma, uncertainty, and disruption. As a foster carer, you’ll need to be emotionally resilient and patient. It’s not uncommon for children and teenagers in care to express their feelings through challenging behaviour, as they navigate their emotions and attempt to make sense of their experiences. Understanding this is crucial for any carer; it allows you to approach difficult moments with empathy, recognising that these behaviours are often a reflection of the young person’s past rather than a reaction to their current environment.
The early stages of a placement can be particularly tough, as the young person may test boundaries or struggle to adjust to their new surroundings. However, with time, consistency, and care, many foster carers find that they can build a strong, trusting relationship with the young person, providing them with the stability and security they desperately need.
The Importance of Routine and Structure
One of the most critical aspects of fostering is creating a sense of normality and routine for the young person. Daily routines that may seem ordinary—such as school runs, meal times, and bedtime rituals—can provide a sense of safety and predictability for children who may have experienced significant upheaval. These routines help to establish a stable environment, which is crucial for the emotional and psychological development of the child.
In addition to daily routines, structure is essential. Setting clear expectations and boundaries helps the young person to understand what is expected of them and what they can expect from you in return. This mutual understanding can significantly reduce anxiety and promote positive behaviour, making it easier for the young person to integrate into family life.
Working as Part of a Team
Fostering is not something you do alone. You’ll be part of a team that includes social workers, counsellors, teachers, and other professionals dedicated to supporting the young person in your care. Communication is key; regular meetings and updates with your support network will help you navigate the complexities of caring for a young person, ensuring that you’re not left to face challenges on your own.
These professionals are there to provide advice, support, and resources to help you in your role as a foster carer. Whether it’s addressing behavioural issues, offering guidance on educational matters, or providing emotional support, your team will be an invaluable resource throughout your fostering journey.
Celebrating Small Wins
One of the most rewarding aspects of fostering is witnessing the small, yet significant, milestones in the young person’s life. Whether it’s seeing them make new friends, watching their confidence grow, or hearing them express gratitude for something as simple as a home-cooked meal, these moments can be incredibly fulfilling. These achievements, no matter how small, are a testament to the positive impact you’re having on their life.
It’s important to remember that progress can be slow and that setbacks are a normal part of the process. However, every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory worth celebrating.
Balancing Challenges with Rewards
Fostering can be demanding, but it is also immensely rewarding. The challenges you face—whether they are emotional, practical, or logistical—are balanced by the deep satisfaction of knowing you are making a real difference in the life of a young person. Many foster carers speak of the profound joy they experience when they see a child or teenager start to thrive under their care. It’s these moments that make the challenges worthwhile and motivate many to continue fostering for years to come.
The Long-Term Impact of Fostering
Beyond the day-to-day responsibilities, fostering offers the opportunity to make a lasting impact on a young person’s life. The care, support, and stability you provide can shape their future, giving them the confidence and skills they need to succeed in life. For many carers, this long-term impact is the most rewarding aspect of fostering.
If you’re considering fostering, it’s important to enter the process with an open mind and a realistic understanding of what it entails. While it’s not always easy, the rewards of fostering are immeasurable, both for the young person in your care and for you as a carer.